If you feel outside of the normal spectrum can you still be a leader?
Tyler Boyle speaks to the concept of normal and the ideals of having to fit in, in his coming out story. The concepts of our identity, and who we think we are can challenge us if we do not feel we are the typical type for leadership. LGBTQ label makes him feel not normal. Boyle suggests to feel inclusive an H should be added before the LGBTQ or even after, this would lessen the connotation of being a brand, outside the ordinary. For him, this would lessen the feeling of a suggestion of being or feeling lessor. To dispel the fear and pain of not being normal. “The term would change from being a minority to showing the intricacies of the spectra and fluidities of love, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, and biological sex,” all-inclusive, diverse, all-encompassing. He also expresses the thought that we can look at our “differences to the normal as being negative or through the lens of extraordinary”. How many of us can see ourselves as extraordinary? Do we need to feel extraordinary to be a leader? He talks about stories we tell ourselves for what we think is self-preservation but these stories can also be self-limiting. We should not always listen to the stories in our heads, they can sometimes be self-defeating. Not finding your role models growing up or within our life contexts makes it difficult to form a picture of who we could really be. Boyle is now being that role model for others who want to make a difference and still just be themselves whenever or however they may discover their true potential and meaning in life, not only for gay men. He has set a new mindset of marvel because he is living his true self. I wonder, is leadership part of my true self or yours? Happiness comes from doing your best, being, or discovering your true self. His fears did not play out, he found support from his friends, family, and community.
I have been an artist and craftsperson all my life and I still remember my mother saying, “Who would want to buy that?” Unless you have a passion and people who are willing to follow leadership can still be difficult, sometimes it takes years before the world catches up. It takes courage to put yourself out there with art that speaks to your soul or your sexuality. At art school, I fit in even though I was way older than all the other students as we had similar concerns and passions. I have always felt that feeling of not being in sync with the rest of the world. I can very much relate to the underdog. Have I been a leader? Can I still be a leader? Do I need to feel extraordinary?